Feb.14, 2005

Today, I celebrated Single Awareness Day, not Valentine's Day. I am learning to rejoice in my singleness. Anywho, I went to a Young Life Meeting Today, a leader's training, and was able review and renew my commitment to knowing Christ and to make Him known. It was in the final moments, when we had our 'homework' assignment, and one of it was to write our 'Jesus' Story or as I interpreted it, our faith story. It occurred to me that I had no MAJOR Jesus Story to speak of, just a series of faithful and doubtful periods in my life, that I had been taught was the way since birth. I wondered, is that bad? So get a glimpse into the story, I am being honest now, of what I had to say when I came home to write it:

As long as I remember the church has been part of my life, my story is not one of dramatics, but of honesty and truth when it comes to my relationship in Christ. Having a deeper relationship with Christ is one that I desire, but find so hard to attain. Perhaps, it is the work and time that it requires of you, or perhaps it is something entirely different. As with most Christians, I have my mountaintop experiences, as well as those deep valleys that only seem to get deeper before you begin to climb back out of them. I think often times I fail to grasp the entirety and deepness of the sacrifice that Christ made on the cross for us. I think that I also fail to make the deepest commitment possible, but do it just on the surface or just enough to where I think it will matter.


All of that being said, faith has always been a part of my life, sometimes I have a PLETHORA of it, while other times, I have the littlest ounce of it. I think up until like high school, I just did what I thought I was supposed to and made the milestones in the church that I thought were necessary to continue my ‘walk’. I surrounded myself with people who had the faith that I so wanted and found so cool. I have no dramatic story that describes how Christ came into my life and continues to pervade my every cell, even when I am not willing, stray away, or doubt even His existence. My faith has just evolved, my Jesus story if you will, from the small seed to a deep desire to know Him, and it continues to evolve, as I grow older.

A little bold, perhaps, but nevertheless honest. Through this revelation, I have had with myself (writing about my Jesus Story), I have uncovered a deep seeded thirst to know Him more, to study the Word and Pray Freverently and Honestly. That is what should drive me, not the pursuit of earthly goals, but eternal ones. Take my journey with me... Enjoy the Ride that Christ has set forth for us...:)