Craziness that Lies within

It's crazy to think that I cannot put words to my heart this morning. I am filled with saddness, annoyance, worry, and fear. I cannot help but feel a little left behind in the world. I feel as though people are moving on and I am stuck stagnate, stalemate if you will in this heartache that just won't go away. I am my own worst enemy, as today I looked at my friend's wedding pictures and saw my past with his future. Tell me I am not alone in this. It has been almost five months since we were anything normal or close to normal and yet I have a missing piece in my heart that I cannot fill. I didn't want to marry him, but I wanted to love him. Where's the middle ground? How can someone we know so well, suddenly become a stranger to us? How can the simple sight of someone just hurt us to the core. How can they forget about us so easily? I know, I know, just let it go. It seems I have so many times only to have it thrown back in my face.

That weighs on my mind, however what is really at the core of my early summer morning is finances. I know that Jesus is my Provider and he will give me what I need when He sees fit. I am just tired of thinking in general. Will someone please take my brain away until it stops thinking so much? My strength is wearing thin.