I really miss him today. I fought so hard not to pick up the phone and call him. I know I have to heal though and I have to change my life around before I am really ready to love anyone. It is a really difficult process to change your whole mindset and be so painstakingly aware of each and every thought. But it is what Christ asks us to do, guarding your heart and your mind, as well as thinking about good things that will give you a hope and a future. I don't think I ever realized how hard it is to focus solely on God. My mind wanders like a ping pong... any suggestions on how to regain a focus?
My day was busy, filled with new ideas and possibilities. I rejoined my small group, which I have been away from for a while. I did something for me, got a massage, as well as went to workout. I gleaned a whole wealth of support from my coworkers on my current state of being, as well as new strategies that I am eager to try in my Media Center.
I am beyond grateful for the support that has come my way. God is showing me the true multitude of his blessings by the outpouring of love that you all have shown me. I hope to be able to return the favor someday. And my sweet boy, if you are out there reading this, I promise that if God has a plan for us in the future that it will be well worth the wait. Good Night!
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